theories of graemlin evolution

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theories of graemlin evolution

Postby TerraFrost » Mon Oct 06, 2003 4:23 am

In recent years, much attention has been paid to the social function of Graemlins, yet little serious research has been done to address the question of how Graemlins evolved in the first place. In this paper I will briefly present four competing theories of Graemlin evolution in the hope of promoting more serious scholarship in this field.

Theory 1:

Pigmentation recapitulates phylogeny.

This theory argues that the most natural classification system for Graemlins is based Graemlin color. After differentiation from a hypothetical colorless proto-Graemlin, Graemlins diverged into different colors in order to fill specific phpBB niches. This theory offers a simple and highly plausible account of Graemlin evolution, however, it does not take into account the latest research in microemoticonology. Still, the significant similarity between like-colored Graemlins cannot be ignored by any serious Graemlin taxonomist. See figure 1. (Click for Figures)

Theory 2:

Phylogeny is dictated by emotional homology.

This theory argues that Graemlins with similar emotional purposes are most likely to be related. Despite a lack of direct evidence for Graemlin deviation from a hypothetical emotionless proto-Graemlin, adherents to this theory believe that Graemlins should be judged not by the color of their pixels but by the content of their character. Thus, the several Graemlins which indicate confusion, surprise, or embarrassment are considered related, despite significant differences in color and locomotive ability. See Figure 2.

Theory 3:

Phylogeny should be determined by phpBB code.

This theory argues that Graemlins are the the product of a hypothetical "emoticon world" which has now been made obsolete with the advent of Graemlins. Considering how similar phpBB codes are between many Graemlins, it is quite sensible to suggest that they share a common ancestor. However, some have challenged this theory on the basis that phpBB codes such as
Code: Select all
:rolleyes:
are "irreducibly complex" and thus a poor indicator of relatedness. See figure 3.

Theory 4:

Locomotion dictates phylogeny.

This theory argues that locomotive ability forms the most precise division between Graemlin types. Although a relatively new theory, it has gained support from ARN members who have noticed a strong correlation between the use of locomotive Graemlins and weak arguments. Moving Graemlins, it is argued, have evolved to form a commensal relationship with BB trolls. See Figure 4.

Sources:
Theories of Graemlin Evolution by Jonathan Scholis.
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Postby Evlfrost » Mon Oct 06, 2003 5:39 pm

:lol

Anyone want to be a microemoticonologist?
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Postby Seraph » Mon Oct 06, 2003 5:51 pm

ouch, my brain hurts. so many big words that make it so funny.. *laughs like the dough boy*
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Postby Neerowolf » Mon Oct 06, 2003 11:09 pm

Um, I find it simple just to call them "smiley things"...

I need aspirin...
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Postby Toby » Tue Oct 07, 2003 12:29 am

I can't find it funny at all.
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Postby Neerowolf » Tue Oct 07, 2003 12:36 am

I don't know if its meant to be...
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Postby TerraFrost » Tue Oct 07, 2003 2:08 am

when i found the post, i was surprised by the fact that the thread didn't have a lot of people laughing, or something, but... i thought it was quite funny :)

as for whether or not it was intended to be funny... i believe it was intended to be atleast mildly amusing. i mean, how could anyone be currious as to the origins of something, in the manner that they are doing, when we obviously made it, and didn't necessarily make it according to that?

of course, i'm sure the posters there would say that it's just a mockery of what science is - i mean, obviously god designed the universe, and the study of human evolution is as pointless as the study of graemlin evolution, but... for one, that's another debate, and for two, whomever said mockeries can't be funny?
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Postby TerraFrost » Sun Oct 12, 2003 6:12 pm

these two graemlins seem to be anachronisms...

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:peace

did they evolve independant of one another, which may suggest that this is some sort of ultimate convergant graemlin, or... did one graemlin evolve from the other?
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Postby Gigafrost » Sun Oct 12, 2003 6:43 pm

They looks interestingly similar, but they're different as well. The first one has its fingers crossed and it's saying "Love and Peace!"

The second one has its fingers in a V for "Victory" or something...
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Postby nemele » Thu Nov 20, 2003 11:27 pm

Hah hah, whoever did all this has waaaaaay too much free time on their hands.

I, like Terra, find it rather amusing...
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Postby TerraFrost » Wed May 25, 2005 8:56 am

This image would seem to suggest that smilies evolved from cats:

Image
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