gift giving

Trippy discussions of moral issues, conspiracy theories, the paranormal and other otherworldly phenomenon.

Moderator: Dracofrost

gift giving

Postby TerraFrost » Fri Jun 06, 2003 5:36 pm

what constitutes a good gift? does giving someone a gift without expecting anything in return constitute a "good gift"? does giving a gift "from the heart" constitute a "good gift"?

a normal gift, for the purposes of this thread, is going to be when someone goes to a store to buy some random product for someone...

anyways... i don't think either of those constitute "good gifts"...

a gift from the heart... they seem to be the poor man's answer to expensive gifts. but what constitutes a "gift from the heart"? my own personal definition is this - if you spend time on something for the sole purpose of giving it to someone as a gift... that's a gift from the heart, imho. that includes poetry, art, and can include money - if you dedicate an hour of your work to someone, then that, imho, constitutes a "gift from the heart"...

but then comes another problem... how do you distinguish a "gift from the heart" from a "normal gift" passed off as a "gift from the heart"? if you write poetry, for example, who's to say that the poetry you write is necessarily for the person you're giving it to? who's to say that it isn't some school assingment, or some poetry you submitted to a contest, and lost with? same goes for art, and money. for money... whose to say that what you bought, or the money that you are donating, isn't just money you already had? of course, with money, it's a lot easier to take credit where none is due then it is with poetry.

further, if you *force* yourself to dedicate something to someone, is it *still* a "gift from the heart", or just a "gift from the mind"? if you dedicated an hour of your pay to someone, but did so out of obligation... is it still a "gift from the heart"? i don't think so, myself...

but all that aside, assuming a gift is *truely* a "gift from the heart", is it still a good gift? well... something else to consider is this... who is intended to derive happyness from the gift? if someone *wanted* to give a "gift from the heart", and they did, well then obviously giving such a gift would have made them happy. but what about the recepient? getting something they wanted would make them happy, but what about poetry, for example? they may want a book of poetry from some poet, but would they really want some ammature poetry?

there is, however, one *true* "gift from the heart", aside from money (and things that money can buy), that one can give. if, for example, if a friend of yours really liked something you were attached to, you could give that which you were attached to to them. this brings us to another point. if your friend considered you to be as much a friend as you considered them, then if they were to give a *true* "gift from the heart", as well, what would it be? well, it would have to be something they really liked that you, yourself, were attached to. they could, for example, give you *back* what they gave you.

however... that almost makes it seem as if you gave the gift in the first place under the condition that you would get it back, or atleast get something of equal value back, and... that, to me, just doesn't sound like it's in the best spirit of gift giving, either.

so... what constitutes a "good gift"? perhapes what should matter is the percentage of their wealth that the gift is worth, but... then again, it's easier for a billionaire to give up 1% of his wealth then it is going to be for a person with only 100 dollars... but the flip side is... if a billionaire were to give up 1% of his wealth (which would be 10 million dollars) then he would be showing everyone else up. he would recieve the most gratitued from the recepient just because he had more money, which wouldn't really be in the true spirit of gift giving, either. or, it's also quite possible that the person with 100 dollars would get the most gratitude, because he went the most out of his way... so that's also not in the true spirit of gift giving...

so... anyways... imho, there is no such thing as a good gift, and you ought to just make by with what you can give. in terms of value to you, some gifts may be better or more meaningful then others, but in terms of gifts... no gift is more valuable than any other.

*wonders if anyone will have anything to ssay in response*
TerraFrost
Legendary Guard
 
Posts: 12357
Joined: Wed Dec 04, 2002 6:37 am

Postby Nyufrost » Sat Jun 07, 2003 2:32 am

First of all, any person who gives a gift just to receive one in return or just to show off how much money they can spend is a jerk, IMO.

The exception is the male who wants to impress his girlfriend and goes ape buying her things that are far too expensive for the likely seriousness and longevity of the relationship. I'd say he is crazed but not a jerk. Now, it depends on what type of girl his girlfriend is ... she may be the greedy, self-centered type who readily accepts all his gifts and dumps him or she may be the shy, kindly, sweet type who is taken aback by his overgenerosity and feel uncomfortable with it. So, what is the "best" gift depends on the person ... Girl A might be happy with an expensive piece of jewelry and dissatisfied with anything else while Girl B might prefer a handful of handpicked bluebonnets. To me, the latter gift shows that the guy cares more than an expensive gift does since it is more "from the heart."

Likewise, anyone who is out of their teens and still *expects* to get gifts is a bit selfish and immature. Like greedy Girl A in my example above.

Anyways, a "good" gift really has no monetary value. Perhaps the wife of a billionaire really really wants some cheap silly little item and instead her husband buys her a new diamond necklace. While she might say "ooh ahh" over the necklace and act appropriately pleased, deep down she would be disappointed she didn't get the cheap little silly item she really wanted.

From a giver's standpoint, I rarely give gifts to anyone and when I do, it is because I really *want* to give them something because I feel something in my heart for them. It's the same reason, I guess, that I used to stop at the pet store on the way home just to get a toy for my dog when he was a puppy ... I was thinking about him and it brought joy to my heart to get him something he liked. It was the thought behind it that made it from the heart.
<BR><center> "Snowflakes are one of nature's most fragile things, but just look <br> what they can do when they stick together.." ... Vesta M. Kelly</center>
User avatar
Nyufrost
Frost Advisor
Frost Advisor
 
Posts: 5534
Joined: Wed Dec 04, 2002 7:03 am
Location: Out There

Postby TerraFrost » Sat Jun 07, 2003 4:02 pm

Anyways, a "good" gift really has no monetary value. Perhaps the wife of a billionaire really really wants some cheap silly little item and instead her husband buys her a new diamond necklace. While she might say "ooh ahh" over the necklace and act appropriately pleased, deep down she would be disappointed she didn't get the cheap little silly item she really wanted.


true, someone who's very close to a rich person might not necessarily want expensive items, but... the fact is, she's probably going to want more expensive things than cheap things. i would argue most people want more expensive things rather then cheap things. if they were cheap, there's, first of all, a good possibility, that they would have them, or that they could get it quite easily.

also, if a rich person gives a cheap gift, he risks being seen as stingy, whereas if he gives a rich gift (which the reciepient may well have wanted), he risks being seen as, as you say, a jerk.

anyways... giving gifts on a certain date i guess kinda makes it seem more like you expect to get something in return - ie. they have a special date, you have a special date.

giving gifts at random is probably a lot more meaningful, and would go a lot more towards demonstrating that someone was giving without expecting anything in return...

however, then the possiblity comes that they might end buy everything for the person under the pretense of a gift - it could be genuine, but... it'd still be seen very badly be everyone - it would be seen as soomeone who is demonstrating how much money they have, when that may only be a side effect...

as for your example...

Girl A might be happy with an expensive piece of jewelry and dissatisfied with anything else while Girl B might prefer a handful of handpicked bluebonnets. To me, the latter gift shows that the guy cares more than an expensive gift does since it is more "from the heart."


you have to go through the same amount of effort to get bluebonnets as you might have to to get an expensive gift - in fact, it might well be the case that bluebonnets require less effort - here in texas, you could just pick them off of your front lawn. if you had forgotten about someone's birthday, or whatever, and needed to get them a present, you could do the same thing... but it wouldn't really be a good gift then, even though from the perspective of the recipient, it would be. it's almost as if "gift from the hearts" are just "gifts of desperation" cast in a different light. and i don't see blue bonnets demonstrating any more "care" for a person then an expensive gift...
TerraFrost
Legendary Guard
 
Posts: 12357
Joined: Wed Dec 04, 2002 6:37 am

Postby Javafrost » Sun Jun 08, 2003 6:24 am

I find it impossible to tell whether gifts are "from the heart" or not. I don't think it relates to expense of the gift, whether that is demonstrated by cost, time, or energy put into it.
What I do try to pay attention to is whether a gift I'm giving or receiving has "strings" attached. Does the giver expect something else from me? Am I wanting something else from the person I'm giving something to? Is it a Homer? (In our family, a "Homer" is a gift that person A gives person B so that person A can enjoy it.)
I've seen plenty of gifts with strings attached, and don't really consider them gifts as much as game pieces.
"Endeavor to persevere." -- Lone Watie, The Outlaw Josey Wales
User avatar
Javafrost
Recruit
 
Posts: 284
Joined: Thu Jan 02, 2003 6:08 am


Return to Twilight Zone

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron