superbowl 2004 commercials

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superbowl 2004 commercials

Postby TerraFrost » Tue Feb 03, 2004 6:49 am

you can download 'em here:

also, here's kinda a brief synopsis of the more memorable ones:

Biting doggie, farting horse
Monday February 2 12:32 AM ET

By Aaron Barnhart, TV Barn

Good thing we all tuned in just to watch the ads, eh?

Advertisers who weren't counting on Super Bowl XXXVIII being a nail-biter might feel they didn't get their $2.3-million-for-30-seconds' worth. Many potential ad viewers probably used the breaks to step out for other business.

Frankly, they didn't miss all that much. Today, it's the sponsors who need to step out for some fresh air. I counted two commercials with chimps, two more with The Champ (Muhammad Ali), and several ads that only tinkered with concepts we've seen before, including yet another mini-sitcom starring Cedric the Entertainer. (It's almost like Cedric merged his failed Fox show with another one, "Fame in 30 Seconds.")

Let's go to the tape.

Best Super Bowl ad: For originality, creativity and effectiveness, the winner hands down was a breathtaking 30-second spot for the Mitsubishi Galant GTS. In a high-speed side-by-side comparison, the Galant and a Toyota Camry swerved to avoid objects thrown out of speeding trucks: bowling balls, full trash cans, and identical beater cars that swerved beautifully into each other. The ad ends with a cliffhanger which can only be seen at the car's Web site. I was online faster than you could say convergence.

Runner-up was truth's bitingly spot-on parody of the Philip Morris hey-kids-don't-smoke commercials (like the one that aired during the game). Against realistic visuals of a factory that makes "Shards-o-Glass Freeze Pops," a bland corporate type explains that these hazardous treats "are for adults only." The punchline: "What if all companies sold products like tobacco"? CBS, in a call as arbitrary as any made on the field, refused to show an anti-Bush ad for going "advocacy," but waved this one through.

Worst Super Bowl ad: For stale humor and gratuitous stereotyping, it was hard to beat the Lay's ad featuring two Italian geezers fighting over a loose bag of chips (complete with "I got your dentures!" punch line). Staples came close, however, with its commercial that showed a supply clerk extorting pastries from his co-workers in exchange for office products. Wait -- we have a lovely door prize for Staples, which was the one millionth advertiser to use a "Godfather" theme.

Now the rest:

Bud Light

The first of a bunch of new commercials from Anheuser-Busch went straight for the crotch -- which pretty much set the tone for the Levitra and Cialis ads to follow. In this one, a dog bites an effeminate man in the jewel box while his owner looks on proudly.

Message: Budweiser dogs are the best.

Hidden message: Ordinary beer makes you impotent.


Yet another in a long line of hilarious yet brain-dead-simple commercials for the shipper: A huge, mouth-breathing alien creature fools almost everybody at work by saying, "Why don't we use FedEx?" all day long.

Message: It's all you need to know for delivery.

Hidden message: Middle managers sure are dumb.

Ford GT

A one-two punch introduced Ford's 2005 GT, billed as the "pace car for an entire company." Unfortunately, the first ad overplayed the suspense and the second ad just didn't get the heart pumping, despite showing the racecar at 140 mph.

Message: We do so make fast cars.

Hidden message: Which'll it be -- the mortgage or the car insurance payment?


More effective, if less inspired, was this one featuring a man who carries a monkey on his back, literally, until he finds the high-octane "family car that's cool" at his Dodge dealer.

Message: Your driving dilemma solved here.

Hidden message: Fuel economy is the elephant no one talks about.


One of Super Bowl's most faithful sponsors spent most of its millions to promote lemon-lime Sierra Mist. But this Pepsi ad was its best: Hungry bears break into an empty cabin in Alaska and gobble down food. Thirsty, they forge a check to buy soda.

Message: When you're parched, drink Pepsi.

Hidden message: Alaskan convenience store owners sure are dumb.

AOL Top Speed

The crew of "American Chopper" look more like Super Dave Osborne's backup team in a series of ads that show them getting unexpected results from souping up their vehicles with high-speed Internet.

Message: That AOL is powerful.

Hidden message: We're not aiming for the PBS viewer here.

H&R Block

The Ol' Redhead is back in a new ad for the tax preparer, once again playing his money problems for laughs. In it, people foolishly consult a talking Willie doll, which gives unsound financial advice each time you pull its string.

Message: Hire only a financial professional.

Hidden message: Willie is the Teflon musician.


How does that line judge stand so implacably against a coach's tirade? Easy: He gets plenty of practice at home with his wife (played by our own Brooke Dillman).

Message: Be true to your henpecked self.

Hidden message: You might want to get liquored up first.


Stylish ad, set to The Cure's Robert Smith singing "I Dig You," shows employer and future employee going through identical morning routines en route to their fateful encounter.

Message: The job for you is out there.

Hidden message: No matter what the jobless figures say.

Sierra Mist

In one of several cartoony ads extolling the drink's superior refreshment power, a Scotsman stands over a frosty air-conditioning grate while holding down his flapping kilt -- an obvious reference to Marilyn Monroe's scene in "Some Like It Hot."

Message: Our soda will chill you just like that.

Hidden message: It's best enjoyed without pants.


Iron Mike Ditka hasn't coached a football team for a while now, yet he keeps showing up on TV ads at practices inside stadiums. In one, he compares football to baseball, a sport that "could use Levitra."

Message: Real men don't use Viagra.

Hidden message: Hey Mike, real coaches don't "fake it."


Donkey fulfills lifelong dream, joins Budweiser Clydesdales.

Message: Be true to yourself.

Hidden message: Even if you are a jackass.

Starsky & Hutch

My favorite among the blizzard of movie ads unveiled during the game, probably because it was the only one that didn't take itself so seriously.

Message: Ben Stiller + Snoop Dogg = comedy magic.

Hidden message: You don't even remember "Starsky & Hutch."


The newest player in the erectile dysfunction wars lays it all out in this PG-rated ad that leaves no doubt what the drug is for.

Message: Lasts up to 36 hours.

Hidden message: So this is why Congress was in such a hurry to reform Medicare.

Bud Light

Breaking new ground, not to mention wind, was this ad featuring a sleigh horse with gas. After his owner lights a candle and the horse -- to quote the closed captioning -- "[farts]," the ensuing fireball makes the owner's date's hair go poof.

Message: Things just happen when people reach for a Bud Light.

Hidden message: Is there a fart joke guys don't love?


Homer Simpson uses his charge card, has more time for comic misadventures.

Message: It's Homer Simpson! On the Super Bowl! Pop culture immortality! Who needs to have a message?
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Postby TerraFrost » Sat Feb 12, 2005 9:16 am

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Postby Rapscallion » Sun Feb 13, 2005 5:07 pm

wow! i remember watching the entire superbowl all the way through last year, and i don't even remember half of those commercials. weird.
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